I can be my own bestfriend and my worst enemy I’ve seen a lot of misery only cuz I let people get to me I stop people from gettn close to me cause im scared to let them hurt me and me hurt them but the ones that are close to be grateful I have made alot of dumb mistakes and I take people for granted like the love of my life I have a hard time expressing my self doing nice things I feel dumb about the nice things to do that I think of ill talk myself out of it I feel like its immature sometimes but its not I need to not give a fuck about things like that that might be what I need to do to become a better person im such a bad friend I’ve done so much shit I can drink party chill with people that consider me their friend and I consider them the same but I always have an eye on them and my guard up around anyone I don’t wanna hurt no more or hurt anyone people my wife should be my best friend and I should be hers but it seems like sometimes we are distant and sometimes we are bestfriends I wish I wasn’t like this she tries so hard and I want to give her everythng I can but she jus needs the most basic thing love and support but sometimes I don’t know how I can’t even love myslef or support my self sometimes so how am I suppose to do this